


he loves me, he loves me

by chrobins



Series: KuroTsuki Drabbles [10]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crying, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrobins/pseuds/chrobins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima has self esteem issues and calls Akiteru late at night when Kuroo is asleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he loves me, he loves me

Tsukishima waits until Kuroo is fast asleep, face buried between two pillows, snoring softly without a care in the world, before he pads out to the living room and whips out his cellphone. He dials a number slowly, hugging his knees to his chest as it began to ring. 

 

“Kei? It’s late...what’s up?” It takes Tsukishima a while to speak, hands shaking as he feels an overwhelming sadness wash over him. “Kei?” Tsukishima doesn’t even know why he called Akiteru; maybe he just needs another voice talking in his ear to tell him everything  was going to be okay. “Did he hurt you? Did he touch you? Kei, I will come over right now—”

 

“No, no, Onii-chan. It’s not like that.” Tsukishima manages to find his voice, unable to stop the tears that start to roll down his cheeks. “It’s the complete opposite.” Akiteru waits patiently, letting Tsukishima gather his thoughts. “Tetsurou...is perfect. He’s sweet, gentle, even more patient than you are, a great cook, always gives me a warm cup of tea before bed, he’ll massage my shoulders when I get tense, he’ll kiss me goodnight, he’ll touch me if I want him too, and he won’t if I don’t want it. Tetsurou is so perfect, Onii-chan.” 

 

Akiteru makes a small sound at the other end of the receiver; he’s relieved because he thinks that Kuroo is a good fit for his little brother, but he would destroy the man if he ever hurt Tsukishima in any way. But to hear that Kuroo is perfect to his little brother in every way, he doesn’t know why Tsukishima calls him in the middle of the night. “Alright, Kei. What’s bothering you then?”

 

“The problem...is that he’s perfect.” Tsukishima takes a deep breath. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone more so...but that’s just it. He gives me so much kindness, buys me strawberry cake whenever I’m sad...I can’t compete with that. I’ve got nothing to give him. And all he says is ‘your happiness is my happiness.’ But…” Tsukishima starts sobbing again; he’s glad Kuroo is a heavy sleeper and won’t come out at the sound of his cries. “I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve a drop of kindness. I’m an  _ asshole,  _ I’m rash, rude, harsh and bitter about everything. And...he just smiles and loves me with his entire being. Onii-chan, I don’t deserve him. I don’t!”

 

Akiteru knows Tsukishima has a self confidence problem; and it is partly his fault for that. Tsukishima rarely believed himself, and it translated onto the volleyball court. Akiteru, being the cause, doesn’t know how to remedy that. But Kuroo and Tsukishima’s Tokyo friends have managed to bring him out of his funk and get him on the path to a happier Kei. But to think that Tsukishima has the perfect life with the perfect partner to support him, and that he feels as if he doesn’t  _ deserve _ it...it breaks Akiteru’s heart.

 

“Kei.” Akiteru sighs into the phone. “Do you love him?”

 

Tsukishima sobs as he nods heavily, though Akiteru can’t see it. “So much.”

 

“Does he make you happy? Does he love you just as much? Does he respect you?” Akiteru asks.

 

“Yes. Yes...yes, he is…” Tsukishima can’t finish his sentence before the tears come back.

 

“Then you need to hang up the phone and go back to him.” Akiteru hates that he had to let Tsukishima go so early. With the lack of a father figure in their life, Akiteru tries to fill that role for his little brother, tries to be there for him every step of the way. But now there is someone who was willing to takeover, give Tsukishima the happiness he deserved. “It would be different if he didn’t love you...but Kei, he  _ loves _ you. I can see it whenever you two are together. He  _ adores _ you without question. And that’s all you need. You don’t need to deserve him; he’s willing to give you everything and expect nothing in return. That’s how love works. You’d do the same for him, wouldn’t you?”

 

Tsukishima hums in agreement; he’d do  _ anything _ for Kuroo. He loved Kuroo so,  _ so  _ much. “Okay...can I talk to you tomorrow, Onii-chan?”

 

Akiteru chuckles lightly. “Yes you can. But right now, you should go to bed and enjoy his company.”

 

“Okay...sorry for calling so late.” Tsukishima apologizes before hanging up and saying his goodbyes. He sets his phone down on the table by the couch where Tsukishima sat, taking deep breaths and drying his tears before he pads back to the bedroom. 

 

Tsukishima stops in the doorway, watching Kuroo’s sleeping form. The rise and fall of his bare back, the light snores muffled by pillows, dark hair pushed up by the two pillows Kuroo always sleeps with, the empty spot next to Kuroo that was  _ meant _ for Tsukishima...everything feels like home. Slowly, trying not to wake Kuroo, Tsukishima slips back into bed, pulling the covers over him. He moves to press his body against Kuroo’s, one hand on Kuroo’s bare, toned back. Tsukishima smiles at the warmth Kuroo brings him.

 

“Good night, Tetsurou.” Tsukishima whispers, although he doesn’t get a response. “I love you.” All Tsukishima gets is more snoring. But it’s fine, because he knows in the morning, when Tsukishima wakes up, he’ll be greeted with never ending kisses, a warm cup of tea, and a homemade breakfast, and plenty of “I love you”s to make Tsukishima’s day brighter. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> please tell me what you thought!


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